"My apartment is infested with koala bears. It’s the cutest infestation ever…. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter, but I don’t want them to. I’m like, Hey… Hold on fellows… Let me hold one of you, and feed you a leaf. Koala bears are so cute, why do they have to be so far away from me. We need to ship a few over, so I can hold one, and pat it on its head."